... taking on National Myths, 72 style!

Gvalentino: ... and that's why another hockey team in Canada is a bad idea.

Horace Oser: Oh man, you nearly made me spit up my Tim Horton's double-double. How can you say that? Hockey is CANADIAN, Don Cherry told me.

Gvalentino: Yes, but football is American, but even they realize that they've saturated the market there, and they can add as many teams as they want but they'll never gain another fan unless they go outside their borders.

Horace Oser: Yeah, but they're wrong. Toronto is a hockey town, and Canada is a hockey country, and we proved that in 72. CA-NA-DA!

Gvalentino: Well...

Horace Oser: What?

Gvalentino: Well, see, I don't think 72 was the best thing for hockey in Canada. In fact, I think it was one of the worst things to ever happen.

Horace Oser: Oh man, I have to pull my toque over my eyes, I'm so angry! How can you say that?

Gvalentino: Well, first of all it's July and secondly the Canadians didn't win the series.

Horace Oser: Yes they did! I'll bet you this Molson that Paul Henderson scored the winning goal.

Gvalentino: It was 8 games. It was an exhibition series and not meant to determine anything, but as a sign of international goodwill and a way to spread hockey. The only reason that Canada "won" was because of a tied game, otherwise the series had as much of a chance of going 4-4, or 8-0, or 6-2. The point of the series wasn't to win, but to play.

Horace Oser: That doesn't matter. Paul Henderson scored the greatest goal in history.

Gvalentino: Paul Henderson scored an ugly goal. There was a complete lapse, he flailed at an open puck and went over a prone goaltender. To be honest, if he HADN'T scored that goal it would have been more remarkable. The sad fact is that since everyone grew up seeing that goal, they kept trying to score that goal. The number of finesse players went down, except for a few blips, and the number of pokey/prodey/work-a-day goal scorers went up. You look at most goals today, and it's three guys flailing around the net and the puck slipping in. And the call is normally something like "There's the guy who killed his friend, the guy who tired to kill another player, and the racist all hitting the crease for Canada!"

Horace Oser: Huh?

Gvalentino: More on those guys some other time. The point is that the whole series was not an indication of Canada playing better, it was Canada just whacking away until something worked, in a series that had no winning conditions except the one they created in their head. And even that would not have been possible if Bobby Clarke hadn't done one of the lowest acts in sports ever and fractured Kharlamovat's ankle at the instruction of his coach. How very sporting. How very dickish.

Horace Oser: But the Soviets were playing rough also.

Gvalentino: Doesn't matter. That just invalidates your argument.

Horace Oser: How? Give me a second to have a Laura Secord Candy.

Gvalentino: I like Gagnon's better.

Horace Oser: What's that?

Gvalentino: Never mind. The point is that you want to claim that the 72 Series showed that hockey was Canadian, and that they played a better game. But you also seek a pass for the sloppy plays and gross misconduct based on "they started it". Doesn't matter. If you want to be better, you play better than the other person. You want to claim supremacy, then you beat them on your terms. If they want to claim goal differential means they win the series in the end, then you claim that this was in the spirit of goodwill and international relations then you say they cheapened it. You want to say they are beating you up, you say it's because they can't compete and you out skill them. You don't try to end a man's career so you can wrap yourself in the flag and eat free meals on it for the rest of your life.

Horace Oser: You're a downer, man. You don't need to say that.

Gvalentino: No, I don't, but I'm tired of people pointing to it and then not noticing the the steady 40 year decline of hockey in Canada. You can only have so many games against Russia with people holding up banners that say "Remember 72" before you notice that the only tournament that Canada wins, the Juniors, is ignored by the rest of the world and they don't even want to host it.

Horace Oser: I bet you even hate when Rocky wins at the end of the first movie.

Gvalentino: He loses in Rocky.

Horace Oser: NO!

Gvalentino: Yes. He loses on a 2-1 decision. He just has a moral victory, but no real victory.

Horace Oser: Man...you just hate winners and Canada. Unlike me who loves all things that are completely Canadian. I'm gonna take my Timmies and listen to good music like Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, and Alanis.

Gvalentino: Well...